Rebuilding in Uncertainty

Fresh off of Cloud Next, the second talk I gave (first one here) was about how leaders and teams can repair and reinforce bonds that can sometimes break in times of uncertainty. The post is already too long so I’m focusing on only two concepts that I think are often overlooked.

The pandemic, all the way to the start of 2023 (especially for tech companies) has been a bit rocky to put it mildly. I originally didn’t post this because I thought “it’s in the past, it’s advice that’s coming too late, who cares?” The thoughtful discussions that followed in my Cloud Next talk told me otherwise so here we are — maybe this could help.

There are two parts to rebuilding: repairing what has been broken and fortifying those foundations, and reinforcing and building strong structures on those foundations.

ON REPAIRING

Sometimes I think giving something a name helps us better problem-solve around it. This is the basis for trust in an organization.

WHAT IS IT?

A psychological contract is an unwritten set of expectations between the employee and the employer (different from psychological safety which is the security to ask questions, push back, or critique without risk of punishment).

It’s like dating — everyone comes with baggage, if you came into a relationship knowing nothing but romcoms you approach dating differently than the person that had a string of really horrible relationships. Same with companies. Your expectations for a company are different fresh out of college vs. a veteran of the 2007 recession. You’re in a relationship — except it’s with a company.

It usually includes assumptions about job security, career prospects, training and development, perceived fairness of pay and benefits, manager support, and corporate responsibility/values.

Psychological contracts are unique to the individual. Psychological contracts are influenced by:

• Past company experiences: “I’ve learned to never expect this, all my past employers did this”, etc.
• Current company experiences. “I assume I’ll get the proper equipment I need because I ordered it before from my company, I assume I’ll get reimbursed for my business travel”, etc.
• Personal perceptions of fairness. Some expectations are valid or even stated explicitly by the employer, but some are not.

WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES?

• Reduced organizational citizenship behaviors: altruism, courtesy, sportsmanship, conscientiousness, and civic virtue
• Increased organizational cynicism: negative attitudes, beliefs, and actions against an organization
• Symptoms of burnout: absenteeism, lower quality of work/productivity, anger/resentment, distrust, decreased job satisfaction and commitment

WHAT ARE SIGNS SOMEONE IS COPING WITH UNCERTAINTY?

We don’t want to get to burnout before we realize someone isn’t coping well.

Identify these coping styles — they are adaptive in some instances and maladaptive in others.

Coping style related to how much information someone needs.

Coping style related to how much control one has in a situation.

Both coping styles are helpful and important, just in different instances. Monitors and blunters need each other to help them find enough information to make a good decision (monitor) but also know when too much information is overwhelming and harmful (blunter). Helping people focus on changing what they can change (problem focused) and accepting what they can’t change (emotion focused) is a great way to optimize coping styles.

ON REINFORCING

We are trying to articulate and mend the psychological contract so the next question is — how do we shape a stronger team in the process?

What is a transformational tool that we can easily foster that can help our teams? Gratitude. Before you roll your eyes, hear me out: Gratitude can fortify our teams with resilience, foster collaboration, and build trust.

SO WHAT DO WE KNOW?

Gratitude can mean a lot of different things, it can just mean “thankful”, but the way that I will define it is specifically:

We feel gratitude when we believe that someone or something has given us something at their own expense that we couldn’t easily achieve on our own

Moving beyond breakdowns: The crucial role of emotions in repairing and moving forward:

• Anger, sadness, and fear are all emotions that are (often but not always) self-protective and self interested. We are less likely to reach out or extend ourselves for others.
• Gratitude is hardwired to help us. It increases social connection or repairs a damaged relationship, it helps us be more patient for future (investment) returns, and it encourages us to pay it forward

Reciprocity Ring: A Practical Tool for Gratitude

Adam Grant, a renowned psychologist (and one of my favs), co-developed an engaging team exercise: the Reciprocity Ring. By tapping into collective knowledge and skills, this tool enhances collaboration, bolsters group connectivity, and cultivates trust.

The Reciprocity Ring in action:

• Team members articulate their needs (both professional and personal) using SMART (Specific, Meaningful, Actionable, Real, Time-Bound) criteria.
• Volunteers offer assistance, and these connections are visually recorded, displaying the team’s interdependence and mutual support.
• The psychological reasoning: People often underestimate people’s willingness to help but we know that when people help — they feel a positivity boost themselves

Benefits of the Reciprocity Ring:

• Individual level: It encourages members to acknowledge and articulate their needs, dissolving the misconception that seeking help signifies weakness.
• Group level: It reveals the diversity of skills and resources within the team, promoting a community spirit. By fostering mutual aid, it strengthens intra-team bonds, resulting in heightened trust and collaboration.
• According to reports, it also saves teams time and money (Monetary values of benefits achieved typically exceeds $150,000, time saved by participants typically exceeds 1,600 hours)

How to ask for help the SMART way:

Articulating requests effectively guides others in extending the right kind of help.

Examine your requests using these parameters:

• Specific: Detailed, giving a clear vision of the end result.
• Meaningful: Is the request important to you?
• Actionable: Can someone with the requisite skills fulfill it?
• Real: Is it a genuine need? Is the request realistic?
• Time-Bound: Does it have a clear deadline?

An example of an incomplete request😠:

I need some volunteers to review a report for me.

An example of a SMART request😃:

I would like volunteers to review the ‘User Onboarding Guide’ document for our upcoming software release. Specifically, I would like your expertise on the ‘Security Protocols’ section to ensure it aligns with industry best practices [specific]. This is crucial for our team because it directly impacts customer trust and legal compliance [meaningful]. Given your team’s background in cybersecurity [actionable], I believe your insights would be invaluable. Would you be able to leave feedback [realistic] in the document by Friday, September 1st [time-bound]?

Cultural Caveat: In some cultures, a request for help is viewed as an obligation. To circumvent this, establish norms for requesting help within your teams. It’s always okay to decline due to other commitments. Make this explicit, and ensure an alternative, smaller request is available for those who wish to assist in a less intensive way.

WHAT CAN WE DO?

…to rebuild

• Discuss unmet expectations. Where did these expectations come from? How accurate are the expectations — do they need to be redefined? Acknowledge where they fell short. How do we co-create better explicit expectations?
• Identify ways of coping. See how advantageous their coping style is — is it helping reduce stress or causing more anxiety? How much information do they need? How much is within their control? It will tell you what coping style is best.

…to reinforce

• Implement the Reciprocity Ring: This tool encourages collaboration and fosters trust.
• Express gratitude as a leader: Regularly acknowledge and appreciate your team’s efforts.
• Find ways or create rituals that celebrate help given/help received: Are there processes that promote altruism?
• Regularly reflect on gratitude: This shifts your mindset, helping you face challenges more constructively.
• Cultivate a culture of SMART requests: Encourage comfort and proficiency in asking for help.

WANT TO LEARN MORE?

Bartlett, M. Y., & DeSteno, D. (2006). Gratitude and Prosocial Behavior: Helping When It Costs You. Psychological Science, 17(4), 319–325. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01705.x

DeSteno, D. (2018). Emotional success: The power of gratitude, compassion, and pride. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

DeSteno, D., Li, Y., Dickens, L., & Lerner, J. S. (2014). Gratitude: A Tool for Reducing Economic Impatience. Psychological Science, 25(6), 1262–1267. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797614529979

Dilan, E. (2022). Four Steps To Renegotiating Psychological Contracts With Employees, Forbes.

Grant, A. (2014). Give and take: Why helping others drives our success. Penguin.

Lambert, N. M., & Fincham, F. D. (2011). Expressing gratitude to a partner leads to more relationship maintenance behavior. Emotion (Washington, D.C.), 11(1), 52–60. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0021557

Psychological contract: What they are and why they are critical, Oxford Review.

Reduce employee turnover by preventing psychological contract breach, Psychology Compass, 2021.

Solinger, O. N., Hofmans, J., Bal, P. M., & Jansen, P. G. (2016). Bouncing back from psychological contract breach: How commitment recovers over time. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 37(4), 494–514.

The psychological contract: what is it and why it should never be broken, The Psychological Working Group, 2020.

Unanue, W., Gomez Mella, M. E., Cortez, D. A., Bravo, D., Araya-Véliz, C., Unanue, J., & Van Den Broeck, A. (2019). The reciprocal relationship between gratitude and life satisfaction: Evidence from two longitudinal field studies. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 2480.

MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I’m the doctor that can’t give you meds or tell you why you hate your boss. But I can talk forever about cultural and digital psychology. This blog helps me stay on top of a field I love so much, share what I’ve found, and constantly push psychology’s application to life and work in meaningful ways.