The feedback phrase that increases effort by 40%

Oh performance reviews! Hopefully you’re smashing it, but critical feedback is crucial for growth. As we’ve discussed before — we’re not always great at receiving it. How can we get better at giving critical feedback so we can be better at receiving it?

Feedback that demonstrates high standards and assurances on one’s capabilities to meet those high standards helps increase trust and motivation towards the task

SO WHAT DO WE KNOW?

Feedback can be a great source of growth but often given poorly, can shut people down, make people discount the feedback giver, and demotivate them.

One study looked at what makes good feedback. They noticed some components that were crucial in good feedback. It should:

• Build trust
• Show that they belong to your group
• Outline high expectations from you (and the group)
• Underline the belief that the user is capable of meeting those high expectations

Researchers found that there was a 19 word phrase that touched on all 4 of the above components. What are the 19 magic words?

“I am giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.”

What was the impact of using these 19 words?

This research was originally done to look at improving race relations by helping teachers to provide productive feedback to minority students (*See some background and some additional psych tidbits at the end).

They found that black participants who received the 19 words were less likely to find the feedback giver to be biased, trust the feedback giver more (over a 2 year period!), and were more motivated to complete the task (40% for white students, 320% for black students!).

We also need to truly believe that the person we are giving feedback to can meet our standards. In a concept known as the Self Fulfilling Prophecy, one’s beliefs about another person influences that person’s actions towards the person, thereby eliciting the behavior that they originally believed. In a study, men were shown a picture of an attractive or an average looking woman and then told they would have an interview with her on the phone. Those who thought that the woman they were about to talk to an attractive woman assumed that she would be friendly, extroverted, smarter, etc. When talking to the woman on the phone (different from the photo that they were shown), they asked more open ended questions, were friendlier, and asked more intellectual questions. In other words, their expectations changed their behavior, and provided more opportunities for the woman to fulfill their expectations. Be aware of how your expectations can affect your interactions!

IS IT UNIVERSAL?

We also know that different cultures have different ways of communicating. Understand where you’re coming from and where the recipient of feedback is coming from — we should never assume we follow the same communication rules.

High context cultures use a lot of cues beyond words to communicate (“read between the lines, direct communication would be rude.” Most Asian, Middle Eastern, and Eastern European cultures are high context cultures.

Example: You have something in your teeth = “you might want to check in the mirror [smiles with teeth].”

Low context cultures are more direct in their communication. Most North American and Western European and Scandinavian countries are low context cultures.

Example: You have something in your teeth = “you have something in your teeth.”

However, in situations where there can be uncomfortable situations (like providing feedback), even low context cultures can revert to more high context methods (i.e., Americans often employ negative feedback sandwiched between positive feedback).

SO WHAT…

…about me?

• Reexamine your standards. How are you communicating your high standards to others?
• Reexamine your trust in others’ capabilities. How are you communicating your faith in others to meet high standards? Your own beliefs can affect how a person meets your own standards.
• Instill a growth mindset. Part of believing you can reach someone’s high standards is believing one can improve over time. Even just adding the word “yet” at the end of self-defeating comments can shift perspective (I can’t do it! Yet.) Try it on your kids :)

…about work?

• Adapt your communication style to better communicate your standards and your trust in capabilities. Some of us work with co-workers from all over the world — one size won’t fit all.
• Seek out cultural ambassadors to hone your communication skills. Not sure if the feedback will land? Practice with a trusted friend/colleague that can help point out your cultural blindspots.
• Foster a team culture. Cohesive teams believe in and trust each other and will encourage each other towards the standards you set for the team.

WANT TO LEARN MORE?

*The problem around feedback in general was that minority students often doubted the intentions of the feedback giver or may have growth limited beliefs about their own capabilities especially in areas where negative stereotypes around a behavior were relevant.

Stereotype threat is the fear of meeting the stereotypic expectations of others which causes anxiety — setting the foundations to commit the very behavior they wished to avoid (example: there is a stereotype that women are bad at math. On a math test, women may feel extra pressure to not do badly on the math test and the added pressure may negatively affect how they do on the test). This feedback method effectively reduced stereotype threat responses because the feedback giver demonstrated that they believed that the feedback recipient could overcome the stereotype.

Cohen, G.L., Steele, C.M., & Ross, L.D. (1999). The mentor’s dilemma: Providing critical feedback across the racial divide. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 25(10), 1302–1318.

Yeager, D. S., Purdie-Vaughns, V., Garcia, J., Apfel, N., Brzustoski, P., Master, A., Hessert, W. T., Williams, M. E., & Cohen, G. L. (2014). Breaking the cycle of mistrust: wise interventions to provide critical feedback across the racial divide. Journal of experimental psychology. General, 143(2), 804–824.

MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I’m the doctor that can’t give you meds or tell you why you hate your boss. But I can talk forever about cultural and digital psychology. This blog helps me stay on top of a field I love so much, share what I’ve found, and constantly push psychology’s application to life and work in meaningful ways.