The George Bailey effect — A little trick to make you happier

I had this interesting conversation with my cousin about how, during the tail end of Covid, she finally reuniting with her partner after being separated for almost a year due to Covid. We talked about all the near misses that could have resulted in her not being able to be with her partner. It got me thinking about one of my favorite studies.

Before we talk about the George Bailey effect you better know who George Bailey is. In “It’s a Wonderful Life”, an angel shows a suicidal man named George Bailey what life would be like if he had never been born. Surprise — the world sucks if George wasn’t in it. He decides he wants to live and feels gratitude for the life he has (also for you STNG nerds out there, it’s sort of similar to when Picard wishes he never got stabbed in a bar and Q shows him what would happen if he avoided the bar fight). Do you see where I’m going with this?

Let’s deep dive into research involving 2 of my favorite psychologists (Tim Wilson and Dan Gilbert) on how to feel more gratitude and maybe even feel happier about your relationship.

SO WHAT DO WE KNOW?

“What if” scenarios make us happier (about positive events and relationships)

Study 1 — Participants were split into two groups and asked to write about a positive event but with one difference:

• Group 1 “actual”: were asked to “describe the ways in which this thing or event happened easily or was certain to become part of your life… [and] the ways in which it is NOT AT ALL SURPRISING that this thing or event is part of your life.”
• Group 2 “what if”: were asked to “describe ways that this thing or event might never have happened or might never have been part of your life… [and] in which it is SURPRISING that this thing or event is part of your life.”
• The “what if” group reported more positive emotions and felt more grateful about the event than the “actual” group.

Study 2 — Participants in a long term relationship were split into two groups and asked to write about their partner with one difference:

• Group 1 “actual”: How they met their partner, how they started dating, and how they ended up together
• Group 2 “what if”: How they might never have met their partner, how they might never have started dating, and how they might not have ended up together
• The “what if” group reported greater relationship satisfaction than the “actual” group

BUT we don’t think “what if” scenarios will make us happier

• We are largely unaware of how happy we will feel when thinking about how surprising events are that led to a fortunate outcome
• In both study 1 and study 2, researchers asked another group of people to forecast the feelings in the “actual” and “what if” conditions. Forecasters predicted that people would be happier in the “actual” condition compared to the “what if” condition. In fact, in study 2, almost 88% of forecasters said they would choose to be in the “actual” condition themselves.

SO WHAT…

Why is this important?

• We often take our current circumstances for granted. We are probably one of the only species that can think about what might not have been — and we can turn that into a superpower.
• More importantly, additional research shows that even small increases in daily positive emotion are enough to improve life satisfaction and reduce depressive symptoms over time (even if negative emotions stay the same).
• Surprise, luck, and uncertainty can have positive effects when interpreting positive events and are increased with counterfactual thinking — Remember? Uncertainty can sometimes be good.
• Spread gratitude — remind people of the different circumstances that could have shifted a positive event another way

Here’s a little 15 minute exercise you can do (adapted from UC Berkeley’s Greater Good in Action Activity)

1. Think about a positive event in your life, such as an educational or career achievement, the birth of a child, or a special trip you took.
2. Think about the various events, players, and circumstances that made this positive event possible.
3. Consider the ways in which this event may never have happened
4. Write down all of the possible events and decisions — large and small — that could have gone differently and prevented this event from occurring.
5. Imagine what your life would be like now if the positive event never occurred — how would that affect you or those around you?
6. Reflect upon this positive event and the benefits it has brought you.

WANT TO LEARN MORE?

Fredrickson, B. L., Cohn, M. A., Coffey, K. A., Pek, J., & Finkel, S. M. (2008). Open hearts build lives: positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal resources. Journal of personality and social psychology, 95(5), 1045–1062.

Gilbert, D. (2007). Stumbling on Happiness. Penguin Books Ltd.

Koo, M., Algoe, S. B., Wilson, T. D., & Gilbert, D. T. (2008). It’s a wonderful life: Mentally subtracting positive events improves people’s affective states, contrary to their affective forecasts. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(5), 1217–1224.

Wilson, T. D. (2011). Redirect: The surprising new science of psychological change. Little Brown/Hachette Book Group.

MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I’m the doctor that can’t give you meds or tell you why you hate your boss. But I can talk forever about cultural and digital psychology. This blog helps me stay on top of a field I love so much, share what I’ve found, and constantly push psychology’s application to life and work in meaningful ways.